The holidays are always a busy season, but one in which perhaps our horse activities have to take second chair to school programs or sports.  It’s the perfect time for youth and parents to step back and set new goals for the New Year.  While attending a basketball orientation for my son I heard some great tips on being a sports parent and thought I’d share a couple with you.

First of all, accept your child’s choices.  Have your child sit down and list why they are involved with horses and what they see themselves achieving in the next year.  Ask them to give you 3 or 4 goals – maybe some short term maybe some long term. Then sit down with a cup of coffee and really read it.  Next, throw out your agenda and accept their goals.  The # 1 reason your kids are likely involved with horses is because it’s fun. It’s for the fun, the joy, excitement. Not because they want to promote a stallion or because they foresee an equestrian scholarship for themselves. Our coach made the point that if it’s scholarships you’re after then hit the library with your kid for three hours every night as they offer probably 10 academic scholarships to every sports scholarship.  If you don’t accept their reasons and try to force your own on them riding will cease to be fun.   You may fully expect that expensive horse to be high point in the nation by next fall, but if your child’s only goal is to be able to do a flying lead change there’s going to be some conflict. When it stops being fun, they stop wanting to do it. 

Once you accept their choices, then you also need to release them to the sport.  As long as they’re making good decisions about their friends, academics and drugs and alcohol then let them make their own decisions in the horse show arena.  They know to sit up and not chew gum.  They know how to do a turn on the forehand.  Let them get in there and show – the horse show is the test and they should’ve done their homework at home.  They don’t need you in their classroom on math test day whispering how to solve quadratic equations and they don’t need you on the rail telling them how to look through a turn either.  There are only 4 things you can be at a horse show – the competitor, the trainer, the judge or the spectator.  Chances are you’re the spectator so spectate.

Which leads to the last tip I heard – model poise and good behavior.  Of course, we’re all familiar with the crazed football fans, but you know at a horse show, there’s fewer spectators so your kids are even more aware of your behavior. If your child blows a pattern they know it  - and if you choose to congratulation the kid with an awesome pattern instead of berating your own child it goes a long ways towards producing a gracious adult.  Be generous with your praise to everyone who’s earned it.  There’s always another horse show.

Our basketball coach had some other great insights, but I think this is enough sermonizing.  We have great bunch of kids and parents in our Nebraska Club.  I am always so impressed with how they interact.  Let’s look forward to a great New Year!!

Tami Radney
NAC Youth Director
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